The Unspeakable --One

Studying in UBC have always been... One of my dreams

But studying here... i've come to terms with becoming some one I never knew I COULD become

The Cold hearted bitch to ppl I dont care about / ppl i dislike, but appearently warm and loving at the same time to them.

The plan scheming, self preserving, ppl sabotaging, low-life kind of person i've always been afraid of. those kind of ppl I HATE.

and

I've become one of THEM.

For those of whom knew me from before may be shocked (or not) and wonder where your old Sandy went.

I wonder the same thing....

All i know is that She's scared... she's hating every inch of this new person she is becoming and she dont know how to turn back.

she wants to survive here, to get through without getting hurt, and she see no alternative ways to do this, but become Cold Hearted and Bitter in every way possible.

This came to her as a hammer to the head, when her close friend, presumebly bestfriend here in UBC. chatted with (for convinience sake) GuyA, with friendly gustures, extended invitation and light touches on the arm. only to turn to me at the end of the conversation when the guy had walked away to say, "I Fucken Hate That Guy."  

This stirred up a few thoughts.  first of all... just a couple of days ago she was telling me how she does not miss (in fact she is glad ) that one of her close friends last year didnt come back to UBC this year. 

1st Horrifying thought that i made plans with GuyB that i have no intention to keep.

2nd Horrifying thought, if she could do this with GuyA, and with her close friend, what does she REALLY think of me?

3rd Horrifying thought, i'm a horrible person to even think that she isnt a real friend, but yet. i cant help wondering... and doubting...

My Baby Niece

I am so very happy to be able to meet my baby niece. she is 2 months old and she absolutely adorable. though she is just a baby, i can tell she LOVES me!! she would be all fussy, moving around and all. or she would be annoyed but as soon as i held her she would stop fussing and smile.
when she fuss, i dont mean crying, she doesnt cry that much. such a good baby~
she would just move around a lot when you hold her, or show that she's uncomfortable.

amazing thing is that she sleeps through the night, she would want to be feed at 4a.m. like all babies, but as soon as she's been feed she would go back to bed. making her working parent's life so easy. haha.

I havent seen her for 4 days. i miss her like crazy... i wanna steal her and bring her to canada with me!! wahhaha.

Working like crazy... work is busy and i'm so very tired..., every day!! (sobb.)
this is so not a vacation!!

Success!!!!

ooooooooo look ~~ Look what Bubbles did down there!! wooooo!!

Trial~~Will it Work?

ok ~
so ... bubbles figure out how to put songs on the Blogger site THROUGH Xanga lol...
coool eh. ~ but it cant be a blog post it has to be a section all on it's own.
also mean that Bubbles can only have one song at a time on the website.
but Bubbles guess it's better than nothing...
Wait, Bubbles just thought of something.. if Bubbles can do this... then... can Bubbles just post the song code directly on to a blog post entry? would that work?
let Bubbles try a try.