Work & Changes to be Made

( ~ Stares ~ )
I've been wanting to write this post forever and now that I've actually have it open, I'm lost for words.
( ~ Sits here staring for another 15 mins ~ )
I cant seem to know where to start. So many things happen each day it's been so crazy I remember being upset but now ... I don't know exactly why.  Isn't that crazy?

One thing I know for sure that I'm upset about is being under appreciated. It's the worse feeling in the world when you are busy and tired everyday. But your direct manager doesn't know what you do on a day to day basis and think that you have a lot of free time on your hands.  -- For a long while, I was bitter. 

-- It's time to take ownership for this misunderstanding.  So far, all I've done is pout and accuse her for not understanding what I do.  It is true that she hired me and therefore she should know what my job is. She's the HR Director, she "should" know what our processes are.  BUT the fact that she DIDN'T know can't be changed now. All we can do is move forward, and if I want anything to change then I have to take action to make these changes. The fact that she STILL doesn't know what I do is now MY fault because I failed to communicate this to her. 

The 2nd thing I was upset about is the lack of guidance and direction I receive.  An extension to this is neglect. I understand that I am on contract, but as long as I am working there I am still an employee and should be treated as such. I have never received any training, I made up the process and did the job to the best of my ability. The best way I know how. But I always feel like I'm scrabbling. 

Now I don't want you to think that I'm all complaints when it comes to my job. There are times where I feel like I'm going to kill some one. (ok, maybe most of the time I feel like I wanna kill some one.) But I AM learning a lot from this place.  I learned to stand my ground, to push back and question authority, to question people who are higher up in the hierarchal chain. -- for those of you who don't know me too well.  This is an impressive improvement for a girl who rarely ever talks back to her parent and still work to please. 

There are many things I would like to change and accomplish here.

I wonder if I could just think positive like before and be okay with living solely on optimism.  I may not be able to choose what happens to me, but I can choose how I react, how I deal with it. I truly believe that by choosing to face things with the most positive attitude and acceptance I would be able face the work place with a lighter heart.   To stop offering people my heart.  As one of my coworkers said "work-friends" is totally different from friends outside work. I have to learn to treat people differently and learn to make that differentiation. 

Two more weeks I would be half way done my 6 month contract. As much as I hate interviews and looking for jobs and having to get use to a new environment, leaving is probably the best option for me; for my future and my career.  I have never imagine myself doing recruitment as a career and the sooner I get out of it the better because I don't want to be stuck in it.  -- I want to move towards a Generalist role and I think I'm ready to take the next step and handle more responsibilities and be more hands-on with other HR functions other than recruitment.

That's all the updates for now.  

There are many changes I believe I can make that would make my life a lot happier and easier. :) 

Will update on how they turn out :P.

Promise next post is less narrative. :)  -- just find that right now, it's easier on my emotions and temper if I think narratively and logically. 

xoxo 

Love lots, 

- B -

A New Begining

Wow, my last post was a year and a bit ago. If this was a resume I would have taken it to the shredder back in Oct. 2010. (as common practice, we keep candidate's resumes for 1year. )

2011. We can definitely call this year a new beginning.

Many life milestones were set in 2010:
- I have graduated from UBC.
- Moved in to my new place.
- Living in Canada all on my own for the very first time.
- Started a New/First Job after Graduation.

Graduating: DONE!! thinking back, it seem so long ago.
4th year went by so fast i had no idea where my time all went.  i studied hard. partied hard. -- i guess in the end that's all that matters :P
Especially because the Winter Olympics being in Vancouver. it made 2010 more exciting than any other year. I went a little crazy with the Olympic souvenirs, I bought most of the stuffed mascots, My favorite being MukMuk and Quatchi, there are more than 2 for each of them :P   shhhh dont tell my mom, she'll freak out, considering we thew out 2 garbage bags of stuffed toys when we moved out of our place in Delta. (hahah) Well... actually, they ddint get "thrown out", my mom kindly donated them -- against my constant protest and pouting.

Even though Graduation seem so long ago. I still often get flash back to that day I graduated and many moments during the 4 years of University.  Still, for the life of me, (and Sneha) we cant remember how we came to know each other. We worked backwards from when we first remember we hung out together but neither of us can remember the very first time we met. and HOW. or WHY. This is just one of the many wonderful mysteries.

Moving into a new place, a place of my own, is scary.  I'm still not use to it.  At times, I really hate it.
It's too quiet and there's no one to talk to.  I'm a social bug.  I need interaction and conversations. I need hugs I need people. My landlords are nice people. They are loud sometimes. Like yesterday, they were fighting with each other, there were people crying, people yelling and people simply stomping.  All i could fully get was the daughter screaming "This Is MY Life."  --- and because I am a mean and horrible human-being. The first thing that came to my mind was breaking into a song "It's My liiiiffeee~ it's now or ne-ver! "  :S

Working at my first job, a company that manufactures high performance sports wear, is  a challenge to say the least. The process in which I obtain this job was not without upsetting obstacles. The unsureness i feel about this company still remains, but i refuse to let it drag me down.  I'll continue working there and I will be happy about it.  I am going to continue looking though.

This is the first post about my job and i'm sure there are many posts to come that would have more information on this job and my "fantastic" adventures there.

The roller Coaster of emotions I had to endure was discouraging first step into the real world.

:)
This is just a Short&Sweet summary of the year 2010.
The First Post after being MIA for a year and 3 months
The First Post of the year 2011.
The First Post after Graduation.
The First Post since I started living on my own.
The First Post of Independence.

-- Hopefully not the last. :p