Success Is....

Quote from the movie "Fame" (2009)

There are some things success is not.

It’s not fame, it’s not money or power

Success is….waking up In the morning so excited about what you have to do that you literally fly out the door

It’s getting to work with people you love.

Success is connecting with the world and making people feel.  It’s finding a way to bind together people who have nothing in common but a dream.  It’s falling asleep at night knowing you did the best job you could

Success is joy and freedom and friendship.

Success is love.

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What is Success to you?

10 Things I wish I Had Learned Earlier.

I found an interesting article the other day, so I decided to type it out to share:  

"10 Things I wish I had Learned Earlier" - By: Tia Singh

Back in 1998, Fresh out of grad school and working in my first ever "real" job as an Account Executive in New Delhi Advertising agency, I knew.

I knew that I was going to quit the corporate world within 5 years.

I lasted 4.

It still took another 5 years of twists and turns for me to start my personal development journey and to bring me where I am today: a place of understanding, expansion, trust, happiness, knowing. I have learned, experienced, struggled, loved, lost and finally come home to me.

While I believe that our experiences are necessary for us to grow and evolve, there are a few gentle reminders that I wish I could have given myself - or should I say, started believing much earlier in life.

1.) You Don't Have to Know All the Answers.
Not being able to make a life decision, pick a career or know what you want to do does not mean that you aren't "living up to your potential" or wasting your life. One day, it will come together. Until then, enjoy the journey.

2.) You Always Have a Choice.
Even when life isn't panning out the way you want, you can choose how to respond. Even when you feel completely helpless, you have a choice! Don't spend your time thinking you have to do what's expected of you or making decisions based on wanting to be liked.

3.) Enjoy the In-Between Spaces.
The time it takes to make your dreams come true. The periods of singledom. The time spent in relationships. Don't be in one situation and wish for it to be something else. That is truly a sad waste of time because one day you will wish you were more present instead of worrying about when things would change.  And believe it or not, those things you'll miss.

4.) Have More Opinions.
And don't be scared to share them.

5.) Comparison is the Deadliest Disease.
A little competition is healthy but know this: there is no race you will not fall behind; there is no one to catch up to - you have all the time in the world.

6.) Quitting is an Option.
The sooner you accept that and stop trying to please everyone, the faster you'll progress.

7.) Failing at Something Does Not Make You a Failure. 
It may be a Cliche but it's something I wish I'd believed when I was younger.  Also, you WILL fail, without Fail! It's fine to dislike it, as long as it doesn't stop you from getting back on the horse.

8.) Don't Make Excuses for Who You Are.
Don't pretend to like music your friends like or change your mind, behavior or tastes to become someone you're not. If you don't want six figure salary, own it.  If you want to make a million dollars, own that too. Whoever you are, whatever you want, is valid!

9.) Travel Will Change You.
Be prepared to expand and grow like you never thought possible. Te earlier, the better.

10.) Trust That Feeling in Your Gut.
Those times you said one thing, but felt something else - INTUITION!  Your inner guidance sstem will never do you wrong, You already know. Trust yourself.

Christmas?

As we talked about Christmas gift.  You put in so much thought into what to get ur parents and your sisters.    Heck, i put in a lot of thought towards what to get them too. then 2 weeks before i "plan" to show up you ask me what i want for Christmas -- but really it only came up coz i ask you what i am getting for Christmas.  I really just want some indication that you put in some thought for me. because we've been talking about what you want and watever one else in your family wants.  -- All i want is for you to say "something good", "it's a surprise" or something that would tell me that u didnt forget about me.  -- i dont expect ur family to think about me.  I do expect my bf to have thought about me.  u asked me what i want.  --that just really tells me that u havent thought about it at all.

but u told me that i already bought my own Xmas Christmas present. $20 ear muffs.  apparently that was all i was getting.   the same ear muffs i got your sister.  trouble is, i wasnt just going to give her the ear muffs.  When i told you that i thought i went a little too far with ur sister's Christmas present you told me that it wasnt alot even with the added stuff.  -- i know this message is all jumbled up in to one thing.  -- but i hope there's an understanding as to why i would be a little psychologically "unbalanced" with the idea.    -- it wasnt too much for your sister,  but for your gf it's enough.

THEN made a joking comment about me wanting the most / the best when i half complained. -- well i never said that.... but really... why not?  i do want the most, the best.   not from ur sisters or ur brother in law. -- but from my bf?  YES.  i do.  ur sisters' got their bf / husband to spoil them. If u want to spoil them, then that's ur thing.  But is it wrong of me to expect my bf to spoil me more than he spoils any one else?

what's more...it looks like i'm trying to impress ur sister. which i dont understand why i am... i'm not asking her to impress me.  and frankly if i was to be a mean bitch, i would say i really care what she thinks of me.  If what ur sisters think changes what u feel about me then u dont really love me.  u love who ever will make ur family happy.  and i'm not it,  i'm not an entertainment doll.

So. Get ur parents the $300 receiver.  get urself $1100 microphones.   ur gf?  heck check the dollar store they have some neat stuff there.  i'll bet they will still have things in stock the day before Christmas.

3am

Needing ur touch has never been an easy thing to ignore.  lately it's been harder than ever.

this isnt a path i would choose for anyone.  

my rock.   my pillar.   my support.   the one person who would still be on my side when the world turns on me.

-- all i want is to make this hurt stop --

Is that too much to ask for?

Blowfish

Woke up by my alarm this morning at 9:15am.  I was tired but forced myself to wake up anyways and decided to get some studying done before mom wakes up.  Mom kept sleeping while I got up, took a shower and started studying.  It wasn't until almost 1pm did she finally woke up.  We headed downtown soon after.

It was a bright sunny day. We had a late lunch at Cafe Crepe and parted ways. I stayed at Blenz to study and she went shopping.  I studied only a few interruptions of updates from my friends on the phone but that was it. It was quite productive as far as studying goes. I'm growing tired of studying and cant believe i still have so long before my exam.  I know there is still a lot of material i have to cover and study. But i've never been very good at studying on my own.  -- i miss my study groups and late-nights with my friends at the university library.  I can always count on them to keep me focused or distracted (depending on the day) :p   but at least i had company and i was entertained.  It wasn't just the library where we made our mark.  the rez. common rooms and study halls. heck, even the lobby was a place for us to study!

My mom came back about 3 hours later with bags of goodies from Roots, Danier, American Eagle...  I asked her if she had fun, she nodded and smiled. I laughed at her. -- but now we know where i got my shopping tendencies from :p   like mother like daughter. :p -- Shopaholics.

Found out about a horrible news today... all I can say is that I am glad I am not there anymore. If I was, I would feel so shitty.  People were right... it was a blessing in disguise.  I would have hated doing what I would have to do if I was still there.

Hmmm... Haven't been feeling very well all day today.  My eyes are tired and i feel bloated and on edge. (like an angry blowfish,  with spikes and all!) -- Time for Bubbles to go to bed. -- soon. :p

Decorated Fridge

- Decorated my Fridge - 

A reminder of who and what's important to me. As I take more photos and have them developed I will have a lot more to add to this fridge. -- the surface that was once blank and boring.  

It's a reminder of what i'm made of. The people in my life who shape who I was and who I've become. It's in what they do, what they say and how they make me feel. 

My parents:  They will always be proud of me.  Though they don't often voice this, I can see in these pictures, such as graduation day, that June 2nd, 2010 was not just my special day, it was theirs too.  

My friends: who's always available to listen and support with open hearts and open mind (mostly anyway).  They keep me grounded, feeling secure and brave.  They are my safety net.  -- the only reason how the dependent me dare make the brave decision to live in a city on my own.

My family: the people who watched me grow up. Though, due to distance, they cant always be around me, but they will always be apart of who I am and who I have become. My cousins who would never treat me like a stranger just because it has been years since we last met. My aunts and uncles who still never fails grasp every opportunity to poke fun and bug the hell out of me. 

Last but not least: My Boyfriend:  Who always tries his best to give me what I want. To make me happy he would do almost anything. Who loves me and listens to all my rambling. 

-- At the end of the day: Love is all that matters. And I can proudly say, I'm not short on that. --

-- Bottom Line: I wouldn't trade any one for any thing! -- 

The Hoodie

The summer is almost over and the days are getting chillier. I looked around the room yet again for that hoodie I always like to cuddle up with. I let out a long disappointed sigh as I sat back on my bed, remembering that you took it with you this time.  I pouted to myself "that was my favorite!"

Some nights, when the day's been lonely and the night is too quiet, and when i have trouble settling down, I turn on the radio and put on that hoodie.  It always make me feel better and puts me to sleep.

I reached over to my closet and grabbed the first sweater I laid my hands on. The sweater kept me warm but it just isn't the same.

I told you that it was ok for you to take it, but now i just feel like I have nothing to remember you by.

But it's fair, I suppose, the hoodie is yours after all.

(Almost) 3 weeks

It’s amazing how much (almost) 3 weeks can do to a person.  Through time I was finally getting use to being independent and being alone. It took almost my whole life to get there. Just (almost) 3 weeks, all that training and time given practice were all taken away. The place I call home is now strange and awfully quiet.  All the things I enjoy doing alone seem obsolete and boring, and all I want is for you to be around again.

From the walk home to actually sitting down at my table I kept having the feeling that something was missing.

Walking around the house I still walk around the area where your suitcase once was.

Come 9pm I had the urge to go for our usual night walks.

Walking around the neighborhood, I passed by the gas station with the convenience store. Reminded me of you, how you would almost always get a smoothie if we pass by. How you remember to put in coke first because that’s the favor I like. Walking down the Avenues of houses we visited, pointing out the ones we like and don’t like.  – I even giggled to myself as I passed by BOBS.  

It seem like everywhere I go we made memories and I can’t get away. Can’t help but feeling so awfully alone in a city I came to know so well.

You’ve trained me well. Its 3am and I’ve just finished a movie but still wide awake.  – I will probably sleep in til noon tomorrow.   You know what?  I don’t even care that some of the movies we watched were stupid.  It’s enjoyable just being in your arms or next to you.  Sometimes I prefer just being next to you because you are so damn warm all the time. You’re like an all year space warmer.  But now that you are gone, my room is too cold to leave the window open.  – what can I say? I’m hard to please  (not to cold not too warm) :P

It’s amazing how much (almost) 3 weeks can do.  Taken away all my independence and then some.   I was just getting use to not having you around. I was just getting use to being alone. I was just about to stop missing you so much.  – (almost) 3 weeks was all it took…

– thinking about going to bed now , it seem so strange to not have your arms around me.

Dare to Love Completely. Love, Dove.

My Co-worker, bought a whole package of Dove chocolates and the inside each of the wrappings it gives you a little note from Dove.


Laughter's great. I believe it is often the best medicine. I admit I do have things I am upset about. I do not lack worries and things I much rather not have happen to me. There are many things I pout about, but I refuse to let it disable my ability to laugh.

Learning to laugh even during the gravest circumstances made me realize that often it is just a matter of point of view.

Every one have a great laugh. Sometimes, a hearty deep laugh is the only thing you need to feel so much lighter. Lifting the weight of the stress. Laughter is often contagious and lightens the mood of every one else around you. -- This was a great reminder.




Not so great with this one yet.Mainly because I don't know what my heart wants. I'm scared and I believe i have the rights to be.

I think asking me to move to another province is a lot to ask for. I believe asking me to put my trust and total faith in some one is a lot to ask for.  -- So in that sense, maybe I do not dare love THAT completely.  But it does not mean there is a lack of.

Love does not conquer everything.   I need to feel that my schooling and my career is worth a damn. I've always seen myself as a helpless romantic. - maybe that's not so true after all?

Dare to Love Completely. -- But how complete is "Complete"?

Friendship

Work & Changes to be Made

( ~ Stares ~ )
I've been wanting to write this post forever and now that I've actually have it open, I'm lost for words.
( ~ Sits here staring for another 15 mins ~ )
I cant seem to know where to start. So many things happen each day it's been so crazy I remember being upset but now ... I don't know exactly why.  Isn't that crazy?

One thing I know for sure that I'm upset about is being under appreciated. It's the worse feeling in the world when you are busy and tired everyday. But your direct manager doesn't know what you do on a day to day basis and think that you have a lot of free time on your hands.  -- For a long while, I was bitter. 

-- It's time to take ownership for this misunderstanding.  So far, all I've done is pout and accuse her for not understanding what I do.  It is true that she hired me and therefore she should know what my job is. She's the HR Director, she "should" know what our processes are.  BUT the fact that she DIDN'T know can't be changed now. All we can do is move forward, and if I want anything to change then I have to take action to make these changes. The fact that she STILL doesn't know what I do is now MY fault because I failed to communicate this to her. 

The 2nd thing I was upset about is the lack of guidance and direction I receive.  An extension to this is neglect. I understand that I am on contract, but as long as I am working there I am still an employee and should be treated as such. I have never received any training, I made up the process and did the job to the best of my ability. The best way I know how. But I always feel like I'm scrabbling. 

Now I don't want you to think that I'm all complaints when it comes to my job. There are times where I feel like I'm going to kill some one. (ok, maybe most of the time I feel like I wanna kill some one.) But I AM learning a lot from this place.  I learned to stand my ground, to push back and question authority, to question people who are higher up in the hierarchal chain. -- for those of you who don't know me too well.  This is an impressive improvement for a girl who rarely ever talks back to her parent and still work to please. 

There are many things I would like to change and accomplish here.

I wonder if I could just think positive like before and be okay with living solely on optimism.  I may not be able to choose what happens to me, but I can choose how I react, how I deal with it. I truly believe that by choosing to face things with the most positive attitude and acceptance I would be able face the work place with a lighter heart.   To stop offering people my heart.  As one of my coworkers said "work-friends" is totally different from friends outside work. I have to learn to treat people differently and learn to make that differentiation. 

Two more weeks I would be half way done my 6 month contract. As much as I hate interviews and looking for jobs and having to get use to a new environment, leaving is probably the best option for me; for my future and my career.  I have never imagine myself doing recruitment as a career and the sooner I get out of it the better because I don't want to be stuck in it.  -- I want to move towards a Generalist role and I think I'm ready to take the next step and handle more responsibilities and be more hands-on with other HR functions other than recruitment.

That's all the updates for now.  

There are many changes I believe I can make that would make my life a lot happier and easier. :) 

Will update on how they turn out :P.

Promise next post is less narrative. :)  -- just find that right now, it's easier on my emotions and temper if I think narratively and logically. 

xoxo 

Love lots, 

- B -

A New Begining

Wow, my last post was a year and a bit ago. If this was a resume I would have taken it to the shredder back in Oct. 2010. (as common practice, we keep candidate's resumes for 1year. )

2011. We can definitely call this year a new beginning.

Many life milestones were set in 2010:
- I have graduated from UBC.
- Moved in to my new place.
- Living in Canada all on my own for the very first time.
- Started a New/First Job after Graduation.

Graduating: DONE!! thinking back, it seem so long ago.
4th year went by so fast i had no idea where my time all went.  i studied hard. partied hard. -- i guess in the end that's all that matters :P
Especially because the Winter Olympics being in Vancouver. it made 2010 more exciting than any other year. I went a little crazy with the Olympic souvenirs, I bought most of the stuffed mascots, My favorite being MukMuk and Quatchi, there are more than 2 for each of them :P   shhhh dont tell my mom, she'll freak out, considering we thew out 2 garbage bags of stuffed toys when we moved out of our place in Delta. (hahah) Well... actually, they ddint get "thrown out", my mom kindly donated them -- against my constant protest and pouting.

Even though Graduation seem so long ago. I still often get flash back to that day I graduated and many moments during the 4 years of University.  Still, for the life of me, (and Sneha) we cant remember how we came to know each other. We worked backwards from when we first remember we hung out together but neither of us can remember the very first time we met. and HOW. or WHY. This is just one of the many wonderful mysteries.

Moving into a new place, a place of my own, is scary.  I'm still not use to it.  At times, I really hate it.
It's too quiet and there's no one to talk to.  I'm a social bug.  I need interaction and conversations. I need hugs I need people. My landlords are nice people. They are loud sometimes. Like yesterday, they were fighting with each other, there were people crying, people yelling and people simply stomping.  All i could fully get was the daughter screaming "This Is MY Life."  --- and because I am a mean and horrible human-being. The first thing that came to my mind was breaking into a song "It's My liiiiffeee~ it's now or ne-ver! "  :S

Working at my first job, a company that manufactures high performance sports wear, is  a challenge to say the least. The process in which I obtain this job was not without upsetting obstacles. The unsureness i feel about this company still remains, but i refuse to let it drag me down.  I'll continue working there and I will be happy about it.  I am going to continue looking though.

This is the first post about my job and i'm sure there are many posts to come that would have more information on this job and my "fantastic" adventures there.

The roller Coaster of emotions I had to endure was discouraging first step into the real world.

:)
This is just a Short&Sweet summary of the year 2010.
The First Post after being MIA for a year and 3 months
The First Post of the year 2011.
The First Post after Graduation.
The First Post since I started living on my own.
The First Post of Independence.

-- Hopefully not the last. :p